and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Someone shattered a urinal.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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