Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
