You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
