my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
