awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
