last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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