Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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