Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.

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(805): View more from California

Soap is not a condiment

Fav 6 881 1273
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(614): View more from Ohio

She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

no. you can't hotbox the world.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he looks like a really good dad on facebook

Fav 5 983 3914
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(636): View more from Missouri

No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.

Fav 4 1315 3274
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(410): View more from Maryland

Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.

(440): View more from Ohio

Ok. That just sounds baller.

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(530): View more from California

He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad

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