Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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