I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
