i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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