He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
