I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
