No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I want her autograph on my taint
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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