I can tuck mytits in my pants
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Houston, we have a squirter
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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