My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
