Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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