I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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