Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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