My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dick very happy bro
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
