I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
