Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
