how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize