First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize