weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
