Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
