Screwed.edu
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
