Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
