Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
two words: eviction party
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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