Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
