Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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