just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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