Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Send help, water and tortillas.
we're so committed to being not committed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
