Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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