she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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