Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
