it was like his penis was on wheels.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
