lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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