So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
