these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
