yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
