i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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