we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Barsexuality is the new black.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
