No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
