maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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