If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
