if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
