she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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