haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
