just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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