it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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