she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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