dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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