Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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