I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
