How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
