you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
