thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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