And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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