I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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