I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
