I'm so fucking centered right now
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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