Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
