there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
ok first of all what the fuck
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
