HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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