they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
