You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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