just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
