is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
