when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
