C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I died a long time ago.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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