I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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