my sisters under your porch take her home
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize