I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize