I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
How's work?
Spinning.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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