Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Randomize
