if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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