absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
